There’s a few benefits that come with getting LOUD in the bedroom. Whether it’s partnered play or a solo sesh, channel your inner Hilary Duff and raise your voice – improving communication with your partner and letting yourself relax help yourself reach your O even quicker.

Moaning is often an involuntary, pleasure-filled response– you shouldn’t think twice about it, really. For many, the sound of our own moans or your partners are a big turn on. There’s a lot of reasons not to kill the volume on your showing your sexual pleasure, so if you catch yourself trying to keep it down, we’ve got a couple reasons to convince you to practise your sopranos.

Let’s get loud

Before we break out the megaphone, big question–does letting your vocal inhibitions run wild in the bedroom truly equal better orgasms? Yes and no! Moaning for the sake of it (read: faking it) is probably going to have the opposite effect. Moans are positive reinforcement, so faking it will more falsely show your playtime partner they’re helping get you closer to your climax when really they aren’t. Boo! Mixed signals are not a fun time for anyone involved. (Seriously, stop faking your orgasms.)

In saying this, moaning raw and authentically is lowkey a power-up in the bedroom; it’s a nonverbal cue to your sexual partner that says ‘hey, I’m having a good time!’ When we let those genuine hot and heavy noises out, it indicates you’re in the moment, relaxed and enjoying yourself – all important for climbing that climax to your big O. Not to mention, when you’re totally free and unbothered in the bedroom, that’s typically a huge turn-on for your partner too.

HOT TIP: Get vocal in more ways than one. Communication is sexy. Yes, moaning is top-notch positive reinforcement but if your partner is doing something that’s killing your climax, a little dirty talk and guidance goes a long way.

Even for solo sessions?

Yep, getting loud can be beneficial even when you masturbate! Sex and relationship coach, Nicole Buratti, says “When a woman moans during sex, her throat opens, her breathing slows, and her pelvic floor muscles relax.” This helps lead you to your mind-blowing orgasms even quicker, even when you’re having solo spicy time! Plus, Laurie Mintz, sex expert and author of Becoming Cliterate, says “Your own sounds may serve to enhance your own arousal.” That sounds like about good enough of a reason to us to raise your voice and let your inhibitions go.

Don’t get too in your head

If moaning doesn’t feel natural to you, don’t overthink it or force yourself to get loud. What works for some, doesn’t for everyone – and that’s okay! The secret to your big O is feeling relaxed, but you definitely won’t be feeling blissfully ready to climax if you’re too in your head about the sounds you’re making in bed.

Getting noisy can feel intimidating if you’re stuck in your head about how loud you are or the sounds you’re making, so like anything, we’d recommend getting comfortable trying it on your own first. Next time you’re spinning your solo DJ session, take deep belly breaths and let yourself moan. If it enhances the experience and turns you on, lean into that energy whether for your next solo serenade or partnered spicy time.

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Using a vibrator opens up a world of pleasure, orgasms and getting to know your body you’ve never experienced. With a buzzy bestie, you can level up your masturbation moments and introduce toys into partnered play in the bedroom–the world is your pleasure-filled oyster. Plus, if you’ve never had an orgasm before or have trouble articulating what gets you off with a sexual partner, experimenting with a vibrator and finding what works for you can open up a whole new world of fun.

Never used a vibrator before and not sure where to start? Don’t sweat it, we’ve got you with our Beginner’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Orgasms With A Vibrator. It’s a great feeling knowing you’re about to change someone’s life for the better.

Choosing the right vibrator for you

The first step to achieving mind-blowing orgasms with a vibrator is choosing the right vibrator that works for you. Everyone has different preferences for what helps them reach their climax and there are different toys with their strengths to help you get there. All your vibrator cares about is getting you off, isn’t that so sweet?

A palm vibrator, like our Amelie, is tongue-shaped and great for external clitoral and vulva stimulation, while a thrusting rabbit vibrator, like Isabella, might be more your speed if you prefer a combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation. Or maybe the double-headed curves of a dual G-spot and clitoral stimulator vibrator is the right buzzy bestie to hit all your sweet spots. Wrapped in buttery soft silicone with a multitude of stimulating vibration settings, our range of 100% carbon neutral are a team ready to get you off in solo sex sessions and partnered play.

Foreplay is important

Yep, even for solo sex, foreplay is important. Treat yourself like you’re taking yourself on a date–wine and dine, baby. Set the mood and build up the anticipation before you even get your vibrator out. Some great ways to prepare yourself for maximum orgasmic pleasure and set the mood, include:

• Taking a long, sensual bath (bonus if you slather yourself in your favourite body oil or butter afterwards)

• Reading a smutty book or listening to audio erotica (Dipsea is a great app to start with)

• Turn down the overhead lighting and light some candles or incense

• Have a cheeky bev or glass of wine

• Watch ethical, female-friendly porn

• Listen to a sexy times playlist – we have a Solo Serenades playlist on Spotify curated just for your spicy solo DJ sessions

Once you’ve set the mood and you’re feeling hot and bothered, start with gentle teasing on your most sensitive erogenous areas. If you’ve never used a vibrator before, taking it slow and savouring learning what your body responds to can make the experience much less intimidating (and help you achieve intense orgasms!)

Some popular areas that people say they respond well to teasing from their vibrator include their breasts, inner thighs and nipples, as well as their neck, lips, stomach or inner elbows. Have a play around teasing different areas of your body and see what you like.

As you get more aroused, you might feel tempted to jump straight into using your vibrator on your vagina and vulva. The more you gently tease yourself with light contact, the more build up you can create for your big O.

Lube up, please!

Even with adequate foreplay, not everyone naturally lubricates like a slip and slide. Lube is your bestie for maximum pleasure, comfort and toe-curling orgasms. We love Sydney-based brand, Figr, and their ‘Fluid’ water-based lubricant. This baby mimics your natural lubrication and is safe for your silicone toys too. Plus, it’s made with native Australian extracts, strawberry lime and finger limes. Yay!

Clitoral stimulation

Once you’ve adequately teased yourself with a feather light touch, work your way into clitoral stimulation. Some people enjoy circling your clit slowly or rapidly, while some prefer feather-light stimulation. Experiment with different pressures, positions and the settings on your vibrator to find what feels good for you.

G-spot stimulation

Not as elusive as you may think, you can usually find your G-spot upward towards your belly button with a ‘come hither’ motion. G-spot vibrators, like our gal Veronica, have an ergonomic shape that’s perfect for stimulating your G-spot with the bonus of external stimulation for your clit too. With a partner, some of the best positions for stimulating your G-spot,and reaching your climax, are cowgirl or doggystyle. When masturbating with a vibrator, try getting on your knees and experiment with grinding motions using your vibrator to stimulate your G-spot internally, clit externally or both to reach a mind-boggling, toe-curling orgasm.

Location matters

Sure, maybe it’s easier to make yourself c*m when you’re relaxing on holiday abroad, but that’s not the location we’re talking about. The most typical place to have solo spicy time is likely in your bed (a great choice) but the fun part about waterproof vibrators is taking your buzzy bestie in the bath or shower with you. Double up on the steamy, sensual selfcare vibes and reach a toe-curling climax. Did we mention the bonus of an easy, peasy clean-up?

Partnered play

Vibrators aren’t just for achieving mind-blowing orgasms during your solo sexcapades. Introducing a buzzy bestie into your partnered playtime activities is a stellar way to connect with your partner, open the lines of communication on what gets you off, and turn up the volume on the intensity of your orgasms. If a couple’s vibrator that lets you release control is what you’re looking for, Dorothea, our remote control ideal for partnered play will be your go-to. Or perhaps you want to venture into the world of mutual masturbation and show your partner how you like to make yourself c*m with your toys? The opportunities for partnered pleasure with a vibrator are endless.

What are you waiting for? Get yourself a new buzzy bestie and enter a whole new world of self-pleasure.

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If you ask us, mutual masturbation doesn’t get nearly the amount of credit it deserves. It’s a fun way to connect with your sexual partner and mix things up, you both get to get off, and it’s an opportunity to show each other how you make yourself c*m when you’re solo. Talk about the perfect sex cocktail of voyeurism, vulnerability and arousal.

Wondering what the big deal is, how to do it or what mutual masturbation even means? We’ve got you covered with the down and dirty details on everything you want to know on the subject before diving in.

What is mutual masturbation?

There are actually two acts considered mutual masturbation! The first is when you masturbate yourselves while together (generally a look, don’t touch situation) and the other is masturbating each other and/or yourself (hand sex with each other). Both are completely valid and fun ways to get each other off, but we’re going to mostly focus on the first definition of mutual masturbation.

So, why should you try it? The better question is: why not? Since you’re giving your playtime partner a front row seat to something you likely only do solo behind closed doors, it’s very vulnerable and easily makes it one of the most intimate ways to connect with your sexual partner. The mix of voyeurism and vulnerability can make the experience even more arousing for you and your partner.

Did we mention mutual masturbation is a great way to give your partner a one-on-one sex-ed demonstration on how to make you c*m? After all, you’re the teacher most qualified on what gets you off, and vice versa for your partner.

TIP: If the idea of adding toys into your sexual rotation has been on your mind but you’re worried about bruising your partner’s ego (sigh, we’re all on the same team), mutual masturbation is a cruisy way to introduce a buzzy buddy or two to your partnered playtime with a bonus of showing your partner how you like to use them.

Feel free to explore a few of our favourites in a solo sesh before introducing them into your first mutual masturbation experience.

How do I do it?

There are a few ways to try mutual masturbation – different positions, in person or virtually – there’s no ‘wrong way’ to do it.

As far as positions go, side by side works well if you’re feeling nervous about a full-frontal standoff – get cosy in bed or unwinding on the couch together. Another position to try is either you or your partner straddling the other or kneeling between each others’ legs. Feeling very voyeuristic? Sitting across from each means you can maintain eye contact and see everything while you go to town on yourselves. You just can’t beat that visual stimulation.

We don’t want to thank the global pandemic for much, but the increased normalisation of cybersex is definitely something to be grateful for. Whether you’re a long distance couple or away from your playtime partner, getting down with a sexy video session can be a fun way to connect and get each other off even when apart.

When you’re enjoying a mutual masturbation session over FaceTime, being vocal is your friend. Dirty talk, hot and heavy breathing, and steamy moans all add to the experience. Make sure to prop up your camera so you’re not preoccupied with getting the right angles. Once you’ve got your camera set up, some good positions for your virtual mutual maz session are leaning back to give your partner the best view, or getting on your knees.

Take it up a notch

Ready to take it up a notch? Adding a blindfold or sex toys into your mutual masturbation experience can enhance your pleasure– and it’s not just for seasoned professionals! If you’re feeling nervous about eye contact or vulnerability, a blindfold could help you get out of your head and focus on your pleasure while still experiencing the arousing intimacy of being watched. Let’s be real, who’s doing it acoustic anymore? If sex toys are part of your usual solo serenades, bringing your buzzy bedroom buddies into the mix is a must, really. Giving an upclose show of how you use your toys to make yourself c*m is not only arousing, but might give them a pointer or two as well.

Do mutual masturbation your way with a couples’ vibrator, like Dorothea. You can control the movements while your partner uses the remote to control the intensity and vibrations.

Gentle reminders

Mutual masturbation is pretty much the safest type of sex you can have with a partner, but there are a few risks to be aware of.

• Bodily fluids – touching yourselves isn’t risky but anytime there’s contact with each other’s semen/vaginal fluids, there’s a risk of STIs. Keep this in mind if you or your partner decides to consensually lend each other a hand during the experience.

• Virtual vulnerability – if you’re having a mutual masturbation session over a video call, make sure to chat about each others’ boundaries surrounding screenshotting or recording before you get hot and heavy. Consent is key, even when it’s virtual.

• Open communication – keep the lines of communication open with each other. Mutual masturbation can be a very vulnerable experience. If you decide to try it and find you don’t like it or feel uncomfortable, you’re under no obligation to continue. If it’s a simple switch like changing positions or a different approach, have a chat about it. There’s no wrong way to mutually masturbate! Whatever works for you and your partner is A-OK.

All in all, there are many reasons to love mutual masturbation – like we said, it’s basically impossible to f*ck it up. It can be seriously empowering to discover ways to mix up your sexual routine, what sex beyond penetrative sex feels like, and to connect with your playtime partner on a new level.

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We’re all for a good slasher movie (hello, Billy Loomis) but a cheeky solo sesh on your period doesn’t have to feel straight out of Scream. Masturbating on your period isn’t everyone’s preference but if you’ve never ventured, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. It’s totally safe, there’s nothing ‘gross’ about it, and there are a handful of fun benefits that can add delight to a usually dreadful time of the month (read: orgasms can relieve period cramps). Plus, we’ve mapped out everything you need to know to masturbate on your period like a pro, so you won’t feel like a bloody mess.

Umm, is that safe?

Big question–is it safe and hygienic to masturbate on your period? We get it, it sounds a little messy at first, but period masturbation is totally safe, babe. There are no health risks to masturbating on your period, however there are definitely documented benefits including: relief from period cramps thanks to endorphins, improved sleep, increased arousal and sexual desire, and of course, added natural lubrication.

Extra lubrication, baby

Easily one of the greatest benefits of period sex is the ready-to-roll extra lubrication. Period masturbation is great for both a slow solo serenade and for a quickie since you’re likely already lubricated, you can skip the teasing and mood-setting of solo foreplay (if you want, of course). The added lubrication on your period can also make penetration with toys feel more pleasurable, making it easier and quicker to climax. Yes, please!

Okay, how do I do it?

In terms of positions and technique, you can masturbate on your period the same way you would otherwise. With the benefit of extra lubrication, penetration can feel easier and more pleasurable. If you ask us, clitoral stimulation is a big yes all the time, but especially on your period. The extra blood flow to your downstairs neighbours = more intense orgasms.

You might not believe it, but the shower is your friend when it comes to masturbating on your period. If you’ve ever tackled the nightmare of having sex in the shower while the water washes away your natural lubrication, this is something you’ll avoid when having solo sex (or partnered play) in the shower during your period. The natural lubrication from your period doesn’t wash away as easily as when you usually get wet from arousal, making it much easier to stay lubricated. Bonus, you’re already in the shower, babe. Get dirty, get clean.

What you’ll need

A little solo sex mess never hurt anybody, but changing your sheets when you’d love to bask in your post-orgasm glow or blissfully fall asleep is not a fun time. Here’s our handy dandy checklist for what you’ll need for your period masturbation adventures.

• Dark towels or a sex ‘splash’ blanket – a key part of reaching your big O is feeling relaxed. You’re not going to feel relaxed worrying about staining your bedsheets. Get out of your head by laying down a towel or a splash blanket before you get going so you can totally lose yourself in the moment.

• Take out your menstrual cup or tampon before – if you’re using a menstrual disc that can be used during vaginal penetration, or sticking to external clitoral stimulation, this step is no biggie. But if you’re not and want to use your fingers or toys for penetration, save yourself the hassle and take any internal period barriers out first.

• Your favourite sex toys – sure, you can go for it acoustic with your hand but toys can be fun for extra stimulation and more intense Os. We vote for a waterproof buzzy buddy that you can take in the shower with you. Our whole crew of sustainably and ethically made vibrators are waterproof for bath and shower play–a match made in heaven for period sex and masturbation. Hello, easy clean up!

• Clean up crew – if you’re not planning on jumping in the shower during or after, having body wipes readily available can make for quick clean up. A little period blood never hurt anybody but don’t forget to wash your toys too to keep them in tip top shape!

Safe sex matters

Touching yourself isn’t risky but if you decide to invite a playtime partner, anytime there’s contact with each other’s bodily fluids, there’s a risk of STIs. Keep this in mind if you or your partner decide to engage in mutual masturbation and consensually lend each other a hand during the experience, even if you’re on your period.

Don’t forget

Your period isn’t a constantly flowing tap. Getting your maz on during your period won’t end up like a slasher movie, we promise. With benefits like relief from period cramps, better sleep, and more intense orgasms, it doesn’t hurt to try your hand at it.

Also note, everyone’s body is different. Some people are extra sensitive on their period to a point of discomfort while others find the stimulation is extra toe-curling during their time of the month. Have a play around, find your rhythm and what works for you. There are no ‘rules’ so to speak.

Orgasms should be ethically and environmentally guilt-free, don’t you think? Enhance your period sex and masturbation moments with BON. Pleasure’s range of sustainable, 100% carbon neutral sex toys.

If sexual intimacy is like eating in a restaurant, we might typically think of foreplay as an appetiser and penetrative sex as the main course – but since 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone (without clit stimulation), that sounds to us like far too many of us are missing out on dessert.

It’s time we remember that sexual pleasure is more of an all-you-can-eat buffet to pick and choose what satisfies you. Even if that’s all dessert, no dinner.

Orgasms aren’t everything

Okay, we know that feels sinful to say but what we mean is, when you can focus more on enjoying sexual pleasure, whether partnered or solo, as an experience rather than sprinting to an end goal, it can take the pressure off and help you relax. In a reverse psychology type of way, feeling relaxed can then help you to reach your ‘big O’ more easily too. Remember, orgasms are pretty great but they don’t define sexual satisfaction and there are many ways for women to reach a toe-curling climax where penetration isn’t the star of the show.

Redefining sex

Let’s start with how you define ‘sex’? Do you only count vaginal sex or anal sex where penetration occurs? Perhaps your definition includes oral sex and hand play too? The fact of the matter is, the lines of what ‘counts’ as sex (and in turn which orgasms are ‘real’) can feel blurry as it’s entirely subjective. Especially since basing a definition purely off of traditionally heteronormative standards of P in V sex can be very close minded. All orgasms are valid, my friend.

Many of us have grown up prioritising penetrative sex, with the other sexually intimate acts we enjoy (like oral sex, fingering or nipple play) being overlooked or disregarded while we rush to the main course. But if we instead slow down and think of sex as more of an all-you-can-eat buffet you get to design yourself, suddenly it opens up a whole new world of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and intimacy with your partner.

A buffet of pleasure

Now’s the fun part—it’s your chance to create a buffet of sexual pleasure that’s all your own. From mutual masturbation to phone sex or introducing toys, experiment with your desires and you might just find something that turns your traditional ideals of sex on its head.

As a bonus, creating a menu of sexual experiences together with a partner is not only a great way to keep track of acts you want to explore with each other but can be enticing foreplay and a way to connect more intimately with your playtime partner.

What better way is there to get inspired to push the boundaries and explore your desires than with a new buzzy bestie? For partnered play, try Dorothea, our remote control couple’s vibrator and enter a whole new world of self-pleasure.

Orgasms should be ethically and environmentally guilt-free, don’t you think? Enhance your period sex and masturbation moments with BON. Pleasure’s range of sustainable, 100% carbon neutral sex toys.